Whenever I say “escalate or bounce” I am not talking about banging some new girl. This phrase is what defines a man with options, but not just sexual options. ALL relationship options.
The Decision-making Strategy
When a person interested in being my customer walks in my door, or calls me for the first time, the one thought on my mind is escalate or bounce. I get dozens of emails per day from possible future clients, I get dozens of phone calls per week from the same. Not all of them can afford my rates. Not all of them need what I or my businesses efficiently provide. Not all of them have the patience or drive that my products or services require. That’s why I escalate to a sale, or bounce them. ”If you’re not interested in this service, I’d rather not waste either of our time.” There are many more future customers out there who can and will use my products or services for their own profit motives.
When a friend shows interest in hanging out, be it in the future or right away, a decision has to be made by me as to whether or not they’re serious or just looking for some attention. I escalate or bounce. I’ve been flaked on by friends (and I do my fair share of flaking, as well). I hate wasting time going out if it’s not going to make my life better. I’m more than happy to get together with a friend who just needs to vent, but only if that’s something they do rarely. If they’re doing it on the regular, they’ll much more likely be bounced. But it’s still a decision I keep at the forefront of the conversation: should I escalate to meeting up with them, or should I bounce and do something better with my free time? There are many friends I have who are more than willing to make sure that I get something out of hanging out.
Whenever I’ve met a woman who has shown interest in spending time with me, escalate or bounce is part of every reply I give to her. Not just verbal replies, but body language, facial expressions, even pregnant pauses. Is she just looking for validation from my attention, or is she showing signs she’s actually attracted to me specifically? All too often, guys end up in that dreaded Friend Zone because they fail to escalate from the start, and then they fail to bounce when the escalation isn’t working. I can’t imagine wasting more than 15 minutes on a woman who is just seeking validation from any man who wants to provide it. There are many more women in the world who aren’t that useless.
The Common Element
What’s the one common element in all 3 of these situations, other than my decision making strategy?
There are people out there who are more desiring of your time than most of the ones contacting you.
This is called “having options” in the dating world. This is called “being competitive” in the business world. This is called “being fun” in the platonic friendship world. This is how you set your status as a man in all of these relationship sectors in life.
If you don’t have options, you’re either selling yourself at too high of a price, or you’re not really worth much and need to work on that. Men who have women get women. Men who have customers get customers. Men who have friends get friends. If you’re focused on getting just one new woman, or just one new customer, or just one new friend, you’re probably wasting your time. The dating term “one-itis” can affect you in all your relationship markets, not just the sexual marketplace.
So when you meet a new person who seems to want your time, keep it in the back of your head through your entire first conversation, and each conversation after that: escalate, or bounce.