I hate guys using emoticons, as I’ve said before. They’re manipulative and they show a lack of confidence in what a man speaks or writes. The typical emoticons really burn my collar when I see them online (especially some schlub boosting a femme’s ego by saying “Beautiful!!!!!!” to her latest self-shot photo from above and to the left), but there’s one item that I consider an emoticon, but isn’t classified as such: the exclamation mark.
Why are exclamation marks horrifying.
Just like emoticons, I still find myself abusing the exclamation mark, and I cringe the moment I hit carriage return and read what I wrote. Exclamation marks, like emoticons, are useless for the man. Are we ever that excited to say something? Is it that important for us to exclaim something with joy or anger? Confidence means being level-headed about what you do, what you say, how you act, how you dress, etc. The emoticon is unnecessary (even counter-productive, as it’s a “tell”), and the exclamation mark fits all the definitions of the useless and dangerous emoticon.
Exclamation mark examples
Maybe you’ll disagree, so I find it advantageous to give some examples, ripped right from the Facebook pages of others. These are always from interactions between a female and a male…
Woman: ”Looks like I’m free next Tuesday for sure.”
or Man: ”cool”
See the difference? The first man’s reply is all about a kid opening up his Christmas presents and can’t believe he got the great Toy Story 3 socks he was pining for since July. The second man’s reply is a guy who opened his Christmas presents and got…socks.
Woman: “I got a flat tire today, FML.”
or Man: “shitty”
See? The first man’s response is really enthusiastic about his sorrow. The second is almost condescending. With just one little line and dot, the difference is palpable.
Woman: “I really love you!”
As you can see, it does make a difference. The second response from the man is less cringe-worthy. I also dropped the initial capital letter, which can be borderline emo, but not as bad as the exclamation mark.
The worst combination of emo
If we combine all of the no-nos (capitals, emoticons, exclamation marks), we get the ultimate schlub emo versus confident man comparison:
Woman: “Do you want to get out of town this weekend together?”
Man: “SURE!!! ”
I rest my case, your honor.